Luis De Jesus as "Ralphus"
Somewhere between his first starring role (an 8-minute 70's porn loop entitled The Anal Dwarf) and playing an Ewok in Return of the Jedi, Luis De Jesus tackled his most challenging and surely his most rewarding role. He played an Off-Off Broadway torture theatre assistant named Ralphus. The role would require him to dance numerous jigs, wield a blow gun, a cowboy hat, ride the backs of several naked women, stir a cauldron of eyeballs and share a few secret recipes ("I used the whole chicken...the secret is cooking it alive"). Ah, the journeyman actor's job is never done. Luis, thank you for all your hard work. I may have snoozed a bit re-watching Bloodsucking Freaks, but rest assured it was never during the Ralphus parts.