Thursday, April 22, 2010

YOR, THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE (1983) - Anthony Dawson (aka Antonio Margheriti)

OK, so Yor doesn't really use a sword much in this. Being a barbarian or futuristic caveman or wherever you'd like to place him on the anthropological timeline, he usually opts for a stone club when braining a triceratops or a laser gun when hunting Overlords. You couldn't really say he wears sandals either. It's generally a barefoot or prehistoric/post-historic Uggs situation with Yor,.

Some choice Yor-isms to savor...

"Damn talking box!" (when stumbling across a blinged-out walkie-talkie from the future)

"The blood of your enemies will make you stronger. Drink!" (Yor's blatant disregard for blood-borne illnesses)

"We will need a lot more hemp before we're through." (as will you, the viewer)

"Help me cut the choice meats." (Yor gets all USDA Grade on us after slaughtering a dinosaur)

When it comes to skewed sword-epics and neo-barbarian tales, Yor is definitely not "the choice meats," even by exploitation standards (that honor still goes to Conquest). A mish-mash of Conan, Flash Gordon, Star Wars and Ringo Starr's Caveman, it sounds like a promising B-Movie bouillabaisse, but actually it's mostly just false advertising. See the above poster? Well, there are no scenes like this with Yor yelling at UFOs. Also, Reb Brown wears a pretty heinous straight blonde wig throughout, and I'm 99.8% sure the girl in the poster is some actress other than "Kala." But the fantastic New Wave opening theme song by "Guido" is tip-top.

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